YOU always know

I don't know what day it was. Day I vowed I was gonna shut my world out to friends by limiting their contact to me. Of course I'm talking about the most powerful social network that is Facebook. 


Why?
Just as how Mandy Moore had put it in A Walk to Remember -"I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you."


So let the reason be known to me ONLY.


I am fine. Just getting started actually.


"Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."
Ezra 10:4

A Conversation

Hey God,

You alone have full access to the desires and longings of my heart. I am deeply grateful for this new patience and self restraint I've recently developed. Thank you for helping me keep my thoughts to myself even if I so want to blurt them out and even if other people don't. And in so many ways, people keep misinterpreting my words, my actions, I need not worry for I am only accountable to You. A lot of times, since the year started, I've been put to test. Challenged. And honestly, I don't really know if I've fought well. 

If being strong is my greatest liability, then by all means, make me weak.

If knowing what I want proves to be another liability, then please confuse me.

Coz yea, I see what people are telling for the longest time. I am a pleaser. Although not the conventional type but still...

You also have full access to my brain neurons so you know every thought I have. I never wanted nor meant to hurt anyone. Sorry isn't the hardest word for me. And I forgive easily. 

But I'm not a saint and never will be. I have my own share of wicked, almost evil, schemes. I hate. I curse. I lie. I judge. I blame. I'm a sloth. 

You see, I'm telling you all these to make you see that you have all the reasons to abandon me. But you did not. You haven't. Even if it was you I hated. It was you I cursed. It was you I blamed. 

I possibly have exhausted all efforts to grasp the reason and logic behind the simple WHY but I'm still lost and I've accepted the fact that reasons and logic aren't your ways of LOVE.

Like all times, I humbly ask you to please purify my thoughts. Cleanse my heart from all hatred, prejudices, lies, laziness, and anything that's devoid of love.

And the people I have in my heart, like what I always pray, may you continue protecting and guarding them from all forms of danger and mischief. I love them even if, a lot of times, I fall short of expressing and letting them know how much they mean to me.

I hope you don't get tired of hearing me say Thank You, Sorry, and I love you to You.

Yours,

Prodigal Daughter

A Piece I will Read again by 2012

WORK

We just had our first staff meeting for the year. As I took down notes, can't help but scribble "10" instead of "11". And I bet, some of you had the same experience ;)

The thing I said about me still learning my ABCs in the world of NGOs (GOs included) - that's a fact. Delving into new projects always makes me feel like the newcomer. The eager one to learn about IPs, Agri Gov, etc. And with this, I got my hands firmly holding the ropes that feed me knowledge and strength and teach me humility and genuine care for other people.

I never thought SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT could be this fun! :D

LOVE

If there's one thing as NORMAL as BREATHING, it's LOVING. (you can quote me on that *grins*)
The thing with us humans is that we tell ourselves and we tell others we're tired of "it". And usually, we say this after we got hurt. But fact remains: "There's no such thing as tired of IT."
The best cure there is to hurt and pain of the past: LOVE AGAIN. Love and love until it hurts no more.

Now you may not take this seriously or [make that] take me seriously (considering I just asked God to keep me single this year -LMAO) but really, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE :)

Now it may take months and years before you finally get over someone - that's normal. If it's any consolation, if it's still hurting, IT MUST HAVE BEEN REAL. And real these days - is a RARE thing to happen.

And so I vowed to surround myself with family and friends - they're love too. People will hate me for being me, I respect that. I say sorry for the wrongs I've done because sorry isn't tantamount to GUILT. I will laugh more often. Smile to everybody. Cry. And again, LOVE. (teeeheee!lol)


LIVE

Stop wasting your energy understanding life. We're meant to live life. And by living it, we get the real meaning.

Don't spend too much time planning every little details of your life. Some things we got control over, but admit there are also things which you can never plan ahead.

One of the best things life has given us is TIME. Never say you're busy or you WILL surely be BUSY.

Be angry if there's a NEED to be angry but don't be angry ALL THE TIME.

Speak your mind. But know when to keep thoughts to yourself.

Don't worry too much. The only place it will take you is NOWHERE.

Don't mind other people's lives. You have your own life to mull over.

Forgive. Even if you haven't heard people's "SORRY".

Respect. Especially other people's faith.

Challenge and take challenges.

Read. That's traveling for FREE.

You're entitled to talk nonsense every now and then. We all ARE.

Stand up for what is RIGHT.

Say PLEASE and THANK YOU. And mean them.

Remember: "Different strokes for different folks."

Take PHOTOS. Soon, your memory will fail you.

Your FAMILY is your first and last REFUGE.

Your SIBLINGS are your original best friends. Hold them dearly.

EMPATHY is NOT putting up with people who refuse to grow. Sometimes, you can only do so much.

Be spontaneous.

But be predictable too.

Take care of your HEART. But do that without breaking other people's hearts.

Believe in second, third, fourth CHANCES.

But know when to STOP.

KISS a stranger. That is, do things you've NEVER tried doing before.

Be fair.

Supply advices. But don't IMPOSE them.

Make mistakes.

Make lousy decisions.

But LEARN.

Live...