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Hey God,
You alone have full access to the desires and longings of my heart. I am deeply grateful for this new patience and self restraint I've recently developed. Thank you for helping me keep my thoughts to myself even if I so want to blurt them out and even if other people don't. And in so many ways, people keep misinterpreting my words, my actions, I need not worry for I am only accountable to You. A lot of times, since the year started, I've been put to test. Challenged. And honestly, I don't really know if I've fought well.
If being strong is my greatest liability, then by all means, make me weak.
If knowing what I want proves to be another liability, then please confuse me.
Coz yea, I see what people are telling for the longest time. I am a pleaser. Although not the conventional type but still...
You also have full access to my brain neurons so you know every thought I have. I never wanted nor meant to hurt anyone. Sorry isn't the hardest word for me. And I forgive easily.
But I'm not a saint and never will be. I have my own share of wicked, almost evil, schemes. I hate. I curse. I lie. I judge. I blame. I'm a sloth.
You see, I'm telling you all these to make you see that you have all the reasons to abandon me. But you did not. You haven't. Even if it was you I hated. It was you I cursed. It was you I blamed.
I possibly have exhausted all efforts to grasp the reason and logic behind the simple WHY but I'm still lost and I've accepted the fact that reasons and logic aren't your ways of LOVE.
Like all times, I humbly ask you to please purify my thoughts. Cleanse my heart from all hatred, prejudices, lies, laziness, and anything that's devoid of love.
And the people I have in my heart, like what I always pray, may you continue protecting and guarding them from all forms of danger and mischief. I love them even if, a lot of times, I fall short of expressing and letting them know how much they mean to me.
I hope you don't get tired of hearing me say Thank You, Sorry, and I love you to You.
Yours,
Prodigal Daughter
