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Just as little boys are destined to be men, I believe that the ultimate destination of every little girl is motherhood. I remember having this as my first thought that day, December 30, 2011. And on that same day, I embraced motherhood.
When people here in CdO were (and still are) braving the havoc Sendong has left, there's been a saying that went viral and has led people to believe they weren't victims after all:
"I refuse to be a victim, I am a resource."
And after having the confirmation I needed, I told myself and some friends:
"I refuse to see this as a problem, this is GRACE."
Admittedly, I've already committed a mistake in thinking it wasn't a problem because it would mean, I initially saw it as one. I was immediately sorry.
Since that day, I've been holding on to the joy this life inside me has been sharing with me. Like what I often tell my friends, I prefer joy over happiness. Joy is more lasting and isn't tied and dependent to situations. Sure, it may flicker at times but if you see beyond anxieties and doubts and hardships, its light becomes brighter, powerful.
My Joy
Whenever I pray (and please don't get the impression I am a prayerful person more so religious and spiritual), I always thank God for the gift of life I am living. And now, I am carrying a life inside me (I am typing this with the biggest grin on my face!) This is my Joy. The Joy of Life.
There may have been times that Joy had flickered on me (sometimes, it went on for days), I consciously fought back so I could regain and bring back its steady light.
And just like before I could smile and cry and tell you I am happy at the same time not just because I can but because I am. And it may sound crazy to you but isn't that what we often tell our friends? "My mom's crazy [but I love her and her love's bigger than mine]"
My Strength
If you're looking for the strongest woman on Earth, look at your mother. That's strength and grace personified. And she will look back at you with love and admiration.
I used to tell friends I could see myself as a good mother but not as a good partner. In a few months and the coming years, I've yet to see how good I can be. I could be both (for all I know) SHMG :-)
When people here in CdO were (and still are) braving the havoc Sendong has left, there's been a saying that went viral and has led people to believe they weren't victims after all:
"I refuse to be a victim, I am a resource."
And after having the confirmation I needed, I told myself and some friends:
"I refuse to see this as a problem, this is GRACE."
Admittedly, I've already committed a mistake in thinking it wasn't a problem because it would mean, I initially saw it as one. I was immediately sorry.
Since that day, I've been holding on to the joy this life inside me has been sharing with me. Like what I often tell my friends, I prefer joy over happiness. Joy is more lasting and isn't tied and dependent to situations. Sure, it may flicker at times but if you see beyond anxieties and doubts and hardships, its light becomes brighter, powerful.
My Joy
Whenever I pray (and please don't get the impression I am a prayerful person more so religious and spiritual), I always thank God for the gift of life I am living. And now, I am carrying a life inside me (I am typing this with the biggest grin on my face!) This is my Joy. The Joy of Life.
There may have been times that Joy had flickered on me (sometimes, it went on for days), I consciously fought back so I could regain and bring back its steady light.
And just like before I could smile and cry and tell you I am happy at the same time not just because I can but because I am. And it may sound crazy to you but isn't that what we often tell our friends? "My mom's crazy [but I love her and her love's bigger than mine]"
My Strength
If you're looking for the strongest woman on Earth, look at your mother. That's strength and grace personified. And she will look back at you with love and admiration.
I used to tell friends I could see myself as a good mother but not as a good partner. In a few months and the coming years, I've yet to see how good I can be. I could be both (for all I know) SHMG :-)
