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Maybe the next time I'll be out of the loop, it'll be another 8 or 10 or 12 years until I'll be back.
But I'm back. For now.
No matter how temporary this may be.
I can't even believe this one's still alive. I also fought it hard not to read my old entries. I am quite sure it'll only make me cringe. Haha
In as much as I want to provide you an update about what transpired in the last 8 years of my life, one entry would not suffice. So much had happened. So much.
My memory of this niche offering me comfort when I needed it is what [subconsciously] led me to logging in it again. It's like coming home after being absent for how many years. You go back to those special places where you spent much of your time and the memories start to keep flowing.
I'm giving myself a pep talk. I badly need it. This week is a little hellish. Hellish that I had to deactivate my Facebook account as my way of cutting out the hell. Lots of hell in this one. Well, that's how I feel. Am feeling...
Hellish days and weeks are just so depressing. You may think you are angry at someone or about something but really, when it all settles, you're left alone with that hole in your chest. It's a gaping hole that no amount of anger or inspiration can fill in. It's that hole that has to be revealed and acknowledged so that it can be closed.
I'm gonna say goodbye to this hole but for now, I'm gonna let it breathe. We both know it's gonna die anyway. We both know I will brush my knees off and will keep walking.
But tonight... I'm gonna feel this black hole gasping for its breath coz tonight... it's a friend.
