The Art of Love Making... with a BOOK

Bookworm. Wide-reader. Whatever you call it, it boils down to one thing: the LOVE for reading.
But how do you manifest your LOVE? And you go on saying, "Woman, what the hell are you talking about?"


Well then, let me give me give you ideas how I make love with the books I read:

1. It all starts with the SMELL. - I don't care if you're gonna look at me like I'm some weird/crazy book buyer you've bumped into in a bookshop because I'm still gonna be doing what you caught me doing: SNIFFING books! So yes, I love the smell of books or any reading materials. So before heading to the cashier to pay, you'll find me just around anywhere, sniffing. Turning pages. Sniffing..

2. Anything that comes before page 1 is the FOREPLAY. Make it good! - It's also my own little way of showing respect to the author's work. If I can be patient enough to read the entire book, reading the first few pages before page 1 is just a piece of cake. So go read those pages. They won't be there if they aren't necessary.


3. Be the gentle lover. - Hold the book with BOTH hands. I don't need a fancy bookmark to avoid dog ears. Any paper will do. Folding corners of the book for markers is not being gentle.


4. Preserve MEMORIES. - So there was one time, my boss asked me, "What are you doing writing down lines from the book?" And I just said, "Well, it's a habit I'm not willing to break."
Sure, I can just highlight the lines in every pages but it doesn't give me the same feeling I get from really WRITING down the lines which struck me. So I write them down, and even if it's been a long while since I've finished one particular book, I still can remember the lines I loved from that book.


These four, are my most obvious manifestations of love for reading.

Basic Indifference Ingredient: HATE

Do not hate HATE.

I am NOT an advocate of hatred. I simply want to cite instances where hating can actually become beneficial.


So now you're raising a brow, I do perfectly understand that. But hear me out. And to be blunt about it, honey, I don't need your agreement.


Sprinkle a little hatred and you'll be fine:


1. When forgetting becomes too burdensome - choose to hate. And I think that could be a good start. And you can either choose to hate the things and the people you want to forget or you can choose to hate yourself.


The former is easier to do but I recommend the latter. To hate someone/something means having reasons which would validate and justify the feeling. You can't hate and musn't hate someone/something because you feel like it. Hating has responsibilities too.


2. Hate SILENCE. Hearing the truth is more comfortable. Silence is for cowards. You don't have all the time in the world. If people can't give the truth you deserve, let guilt kill them.


3. Hate those who are constantly and/or forever CONFUSED. The cowards in the guise of goody-goodies with fake halos. Sometimes, there's only YES and NO. No MAYBEs. MAYBEs are for selfish individuals who want to play it safe all the time. SCREW them!


You think it's gonna be difficult but we all have to start making and taking baby steps. So give it a go. Give it a try. And let me know how it "helped" you. Cheers!

Epic Fail

I have this raving desire and urge to talk about "failure" and all of its intricacies but descriptions are turning elusive. What do I really now about IT? For one, I only know it's such a pain in the ass. It drags you down to the pits. And it leaves you gasping for some air.

It leaves a hole in you. And filling up that hole ain't that easy. You don't even know how or where to start patching it. So for a while, you will be nurturing the dark emotion. Until you can take it no longer.

But according to JK Rowling, "Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it."

If only it's that easy and simple to decipher whose criteria you are religiously following..

Because, I used to think I'm doing okay. Doing better even. And I used not to care about other people's success stories. Until now..

And I can't quite put my fingers on the reasons behind. Why now? And how?

I also used to tell friends that success is relative. And now I'm starting to doubt my own words. Is it really?

Because reality is, you'll come across conversations and pictures of your peers. And you'll realize how far they are from you. And without any slightest tinge of hypocrisy, you feel insecure. Even envy.

Does that immediately make you a bad/worse person? Who's gonna cast the first stone?

I am not advocating for nursing dark and empty and negative emotion such as this. This is reality. A real human experience.

You feel bad about something. You feel you're an epic fail. You feel insecure and envious. And you feel hollow and empty.

Do not deny yourself any of these emotions and experiences (unless of course, you're making an android of yourself)

Because if we go back to the subject of success. Won't this thing be at its sweetest if you've come face to face with failure (or lots of it) first?

Quote Me and I won't Deny

"Hold on tight to the "reason" (for the lack of better word) why you've come to love each other in the first place. And no matter what happens, remember that the person you loved right at the start of everything is the same person you're having arguments with right now. He/She will be gradually changing in front of your eyes but if love is real, you'll love the change too."

--

"I don't see myself as a martyr. For me, it's simple: If it's not your battle, there's no need to wear your fighting armor.. We choose our own battles and I will fight for you till death ONLY if you give me the right to do so. I'll kill for a family, for a friend, even for a stranger who's worth dying for."

--

"Sometimes, we have to be actors and actresses in our lives. We give people the impression we are fine for reasons only known to us. I choose to act 'fine' despite everything because coz I believe I was born to protect, NOT to harm."

--

Men, be careful when you break a woman's heart. You'll make her the SEXIEST creature alive."

--

"If it hurts too much, maybe it's about time to tell yourself you're not a fairy tale character who can just sing any pain or hurt away. You make your own melody. And at times, you'll run out of words for lyrics and notes will turn elusive... And you got your hand holding your unfinished song."

Thank you Sam

I owe this chance to Mr Sam Dawson and so deep in my hearts of hearts, I thank him. 


Sam gave me back my faith. By simply being him. By saying the things that first come into his mind. By acknowledging his human weaknesses.


It has been my third attempt (which turned out to be the first successful one) to finally finish watching I am Sam. My previous attempts were all fail. The first one, I didn't reach the middle part of the movie. The second, I had snippets of the middle part but didn't get to finish it.


And after seeing the entire movie (credits included), a thought just occurred to me. I have to go back writing.


Writing [really] is my least favorite activity. I suck at it. And I don't like the idea of being in a box. It's an unimaginable torture.


Sure, I have other online social accounts and I've published notes/blogs in them but I haven't considered them "writing". They're more like my emotional catharses. I write when something excites me. When deeply hurt. When in doubt.


So you see, there's always a reason why I get to put all those into writing. And so I envy those people who can write despite imposed subjects and topics given to them. I wanna be like them. People who can basically talk about anything and everything.


But Sam here, made me realize one thing: We can all be good at one thing. He's good at being a father. Sure, it wasn't easy for him or for his daughter or for his lawyer. And he gave up and felt sorry for himself. But he bounced back and started all over again. Because if he didn't doubt himself, he probably wouldn't realize the extents he'd be willing to take and hurdle for his daughter. 


So the state of confusion I'm into, the doubts I have, the never-ending questions which keep on popping- they're my hurdles. And the doubts I entertain are the pauses I need to take. So that I may have a clear view of what I'm about to face really.


I  may not have figured out yet what I'm good at or why or how but the fact that I've reached this realization could be a proof that I'll soon find my niche. And when I get to finding it, there'll be more of doubts I'll be encountering. More hesitations.


So this first post I made now. The first since I made this account 8 months ago, this will be some sort of a benchmark. 


And for the record, my Lucy is my family. My diamond.