Thank you Sam

I owe this chance to Mr Sam Dawson and so deep in my hearts of hearts, I thank him. 


Sam gave me back my faith. By simply being him. By saying the things that first come into his mind. By acknowledging his human weaknesses.


It has been my third attempt (which turned out to be the first successful one) to finally finish watching I am Sam. My previous attempts were all fail. The first one, I didn't reach the middle part of the movie. The second, I had snippets of the middle part but didn't get to finish it.


And after seeing the entire movie (credits included), a thought just occurred to me. I have to go back writing.


Writing [really] is my least favorite activity. I suck at it. And I don't like the idea of being in a box. It's an unimaginable torture.


Sure, I have other online social accounts and I've published notes/blogs in them but I haven't considered them "writing". They're more like my emotional catharses. I write when something excites me. When deeply hurt. When in doubt.


So you see, there's always a reason why I get to put all those into writing. And so I envy those people who can write despite imposed subjects and topics given to them. I wanna be like them. People who can basically talk about anything and everything.


But Sam here, made me realize one thing: We can all be good at one thing. He's good at being a father. Sure, it wasn't easy for him or for his daughter or for his lawyer. And he gave up and felt sorry for himself. But he bounced back and started all over again. Because if he didn't doubt himself, he probably wouldn't realize the extents he'd be willing to take and hurdle for his daughter. 


So the state of confusion I'm into, the doubts I have, the never-ending questions which keep on popping- they're my hurdles. And the doubts I entertain are the pauses I need to take. So that I may have a clear view of what I'm about to face really.


I  may not have figured out yet what I'm good at or why or how but the fact that I've reached this realization could be a proof that I'll soon find my niche. And when I get to finding it, there'll be more of doubts I'll be encountering. More hesitations.


So this first post I made now. The first since I made this account 8 months ago, this will be some sort of a benchmark. 


And for the record, my Lucy is my family. My diamond.